A New World
Living in my Own Fantasy
For You... I can create a world new world
Monday, July 04, 2005
xx 9:07 PM xx
I m so low now... as in... feelings low... dunno why... class and cca dun seem to be going my way ( well i know tat it does not always) but then... yah... cca dun seem to be as fun as i thought it used to be... though... i must really agree the main reason i m staying in band was becos of a great bunch of people i know there... yah... i suck at playing ... i know myself... Jack of All Trades, Master of none...
Anyways... The Common Test was over 2 days ago... ending with F Maths... ( i must it was the easiest paper i ever saw) but that did not mean tt i m going to hve my A... mind block at a few qns... and i m going to fail confirm...
Physics was a goner.. as expected... not doing well in it... gosh.. my first F
Chem... was so sad... i thought tht i could score... apparently i doubt so... i think another F
Maths C... another Easy paper.. but again... i m going to fail...
Chinese... another ok paper... but i m going to fail...
i m a total failure... i m going to be up on the board for the last 100 in sch...
Depressed enough... apparently even better i m feeling sick... feverish...tat is like the best... went out with a few classmates to celebrate someone's bddae... Happy Bddae Sirui ( dunno whether you r reading this)... you hve been one of the best treasurers i know... haha... yah... great fren... good natured...
ON brighter news... i m presently Head QM... and my predecessors are the best... the first thing they did was to tell me wht i was supposed to do... and my Asst is not there.. sigh... i think i might one man show again... haha.. yah do it myself... used to do it myself... was AQM for 1 yr in sec and then i moved up to QM in less than 4 weeks... QM was lazy... haha.. i carn tolerate tht... tht is why i carn tolerate myself.
Anyways.... yah... i feel suicidal... researching on suicide... reasons for it and how to do it... tat is the best rite? i mean yah... nothing better to understand my prob... Sad...
Still life has to go on... maybe i shall write another silly 10 liner another time... poetry in other words might be in the next post...
I m going to fail... if i dun get at least 3 passes... and a B/C for maths... and B/C for chem... i might really consider dying... ( gosh tht is my extent of paranoidness) ( i had a vision tht i failed everything with a D in nearly everything... i m so dead... dreams are getting scary these days)
- about me
name; Kenneth Lai
sch; Presently At SRJC
cca; Band
bdae; 24th Dec 1988
Wish List
New Bag
Acuvue Contact Lenses
Miyazawa Flute
Yamaha Piccolo
Buffet RC PrestigeClarinet
Swatch Watch
A Soft Toy ( childish)
A Tarot Deck
A New Mouse ( i meant the com )
A Hamster
Headphones and EarPhones
Divination Set
Advanced Potion Making by Liberius Borge
Literally Hates
liars
backstabbers